This can only be measured with the love locked deeply in my heart.
I have been swimming in a sea of masks. Within these currents I splash for the surface. As I wade to the shallows, all I see are sharks. I need to dive below the surface, below the currents. The deeper I go, the sooner I can let go of the bitterness that is masking me. These depths can not be explored on their own. The sea of masks, like a school of surface feeders, only allow for the occasional break to the depths of the uncharted bed. The adventure, the "giving in" to what is, what isn't and what it could be... how excitingly marvelous, and yet we float back to the surface...some never leave the surface. What fear we must have to bring our masks with us everywhere we go? I fear that my heart will explode if I don't take off my mask, take down the shark, and begin sharing in the positive growth of life with my fellow fish.
If I bottle up the genuine love I have for this world, for people....the patience, the unwavering patience that so few understand and many state "can't possibly exist"...especially within me...it will leave me in the shallow end of the surface feeders...it will turn me into a shark.
I need to dive...I need to see who's down there...
It's the judgement and the anger toward the mask's speaking out their judgement that turns me into a shark! It's the mask that can sometimes be stapled to one's face, and for some...super glued...This is what brings me back to the surface. These sharks are everywhere!
Dreadfully, it's hard not to become one sometimes.
The choices, the internal battles, the untimely slip ups, the fear of taking off the mask. Manipulated in the fear of being an outsider...
Well I'm feeling like diving as deeply as I can, and if that means the sharks don't like me anymore, that the surface feeders don't get me, then so be it.
My worth is only found in the depths of what my heart offers, and those depths have no room for masks.
How can I get them to dive? How can I get the humbled friendship, the honest love, the unwavering equalization that should exist within every relationship, when our masks are on? How can I give in to the love for my world when all it wants to do is break me down...then my mask goes on, and a negative strength clouds the air.
Who am I? What defines me?
Love is what motivates me. The love of friends, the love of family, the love of a great meal, a fantastic song, a giant blue sky, a spectrum of colour, a plectrum on a guitar string, words, conversation, connection, creativity, it's all built on patience, acceptance and love. Who I am, is not what I do, or what I make. That's just a mask that I feel forced to wear everyday.
The mask needs to come off. The projection of what the mask needs has to be left behind. The simple reality of my worth is that it exists in a place where I accept, and acceptance is what it should be....then it becomes easier, life becomes more genuine. I can move beyond the masking of what one needs to project on others to feel safe, and see life through a clearer scope.
As the mask comes off, trust and love become easy, and friendships grow exponentially. As I share in the laughter and the joy, my worth is realized, and I am closer to a life that has value, and wealth beyond that of the masked sharks who swim in the shallow part of the sea...
I want out of this sea of masks! The first step is to lose the mask altogether... Good Bye... If it were only that easy...
How we try to impress even the ones who don't deserve it! The ones who make it an impossible goal set upon reaching the most shallow point, until we're suffocating on land!